Have you ever had a mentor in your life? Someone who supported you and helped you to learn and improve? I have had mentors over the years, and they have helped me develop new skills and to be a more effective leader.
In a mentoring relationship you have a mentor and a mentee. The mentee is the person being mentored, and the mentor shares his or her knowledge and expertise with the mentee.
A good mentor will prepare for mentoring sessions in advance. This helps the mentor to ensure that he or she provides value to the mentee during the mentoring session. But it not just the mentor who needs to take an active role in the mentoring relationship.
To take advantage of your mentoring sessions as the person being mentored, and to get the most value from your mentoring relationships, you can do the following:
- Be prepared.
- Ask lots of questions.
- Take notes.
- Act on your notes.
- Be open to ideas and feedback.
Be Prepared
The PMI Toronto chapter started a mentoring program last year. I seized this opportunity to seek out a mentor, and a project manager named Eugene agreed to be my mentor. We had several meetings where he shared his knowledge and experience with me, and he gave me some ideas for how I could pursue a career as a project manager.
I appreciated Eugene’s support, but I didn’t adequately prepare for my mentoring sessions with him. Because of this he was not sure how to help me. I didn’t think of any questions to ask him, so we ended our mentoring relationship because I couldn’t explain what I was hoping to learn from him.
What I learned from this relationship is that it is better to be prepared for a mentoring session with questions you want to ask your mentor. This will help him to know what stories, experiences, and ideas to share with you. It is even better if you can share those questions with him in advance.
Another aspect of being prepared for a mentoring session is to come ready to listen and capture the ideas and advice that your mentor shares with you. The best way to do this is to bring a notebook and pen with you to every mentoring session.
Ask Lots of Questions
The best way to leverage the value you can obtain from each of your mentoring sessions is to know what you want to learn from your mentor. This is why preparing for your mentoring sessions is so important, and one of the most important things you can do as a mentee is to be prepared with questions to ask your mentor. The more questions you ask, the more you can learn from your mentor.
Don’t just show up unprepared and try to think of questions on the spot. Do some brainstorming in advance of your mentoring session to identify questions you can ask and what you want to. You can even share these questions with your mentor in advance, which will help him to prepare to answer those questions when you meet for your mentoring session.
One of my mentors is Frank Abruzzese. He and I often meet for breakfast, and he shares his knowledge and experience with me. I listen carefully to what he has to say, and I ask questions to help me better understand what he is teaching me.
One thing I could do better is to think up questions in advance and to share them Frank prior to our meetings. This will increase the value of the mentoring session because Frank will know what I am hoping to learn from him.
Equally important is asking questions throughout your mentoring session. When your mentor shares something you don’t fully understand, don’t be afraid to ask clarifying questions to help you understand the point he has made. This is how you can keep the conversation moving forward and it is how you can guarantee that you get the most from your mentoring sessions.
Take Notes
Taking notes is a key activity during your mentoring sessions. This will help you to remember what you discussed with your mentor. It can also help you to capture action items that you want to follow up on based on what you and your mentor discussed.
Don’t be afraid to bring a notebook and pen with you to your mentoring sessions. If you are unsure if it is appropriate to take notes, just ask your mentor if it is ok.
I still remember the first time I met with Frank. I had never met him before and I was afraid it would not be appropriate to being taking notes while speaking with him, so I didn’t take a notebook or pen with me. This means I didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to write down what Frank shared with me in our conversation.
During our conversation I mentioned to Frank that I didn’t bring a notebook with me because I wasn’t sure it was appropriate. He told me that it would have been ok to bring a notebook with me, so I now bring a notebook and pen to all of my meetings with Frank. He also told me to just ask the person I am meeting with if it is ok if I take notes.
The value of taking notes is that you can refer back to them later as reminder of what you discussed. When you have a good conversation with your mentor, you can cover a lot of ground, and it can be difficult to remember everything if you don’t write it down. However, if you take notes, you will have access to all of the ideas and advice that your mentor shared with you, and you can refer to them anytime you want to recall what you learned.
Act On Your Notes
Taking notes is good. Acting on your notes is even better. This includes taking time to read your notes and to create plans for how to implement what you learned from your mentor. This can include adding tasks to your to-do list and/or appointments on your calendar so you can act on what you discussed with your mentor. As Jim Rohn says: “Don’t let your learning lead to knowledge. Let your learning lead to action”. By acting on what you learn from your mentor, you will improve over time and develop new skills.
I type up my notes on my computer after I have a meeting with my mentor. I use a web-based Wiki program called Confluence to store my notes. I can then review my notes from either my phone or my computer. I also create tasks in a web-based project management tool called ClickUp for any action items I identified during my mentoring session. I schedule those action items to ensure I do them, and this helps me implement what I learn from my mentor.
For example, I was inspired to organize a TEDx event and I met with Frank to discuss this idea. He gave me lots of great advice about organizing networking events, including how many attendees I could expect at my event. He also gave me some ideas for a venue.
I took notes during this mentoring sessions. I also reviewed my notes and took steps to act on what I learned from Frank. I did this by creating a budget for my event based on what I discussed with Frank and I contacted the venue that Fank recommended.
Don’t just take notes. Read your notes and act on them. Create action items to follow up on your notes. Identify new questions you can ask your mentor in a future mentoring session. You can also give your mentor progress updates after you act on what you have learned from him. This will show him that you received value from your mentoring session, and he will appreciate knowing that his time mentoring you wasn’t wasted.
Be Open to Ideas and Feedback
One key thing you need to do as the mentee in a mentoring relationship is to be open to ideas and feedback. This is especially important if your mentor gives you constructive feedback on how you can improve. It can be difficult to receive feedback about what you don’t do well, but this feedback is valuable because it can help you improve.
In a typical Toastmasters club, you have one evaluator that points out what you did well in your speech and some areas you can improve. The focus is typically on what you did well with lots of positive and encouraging words to help you feel good about your speech.
Compare that to my Go Pro Speakers Toastmasters club, where the focus is on how you can improve. In the Go Pro Speakers club, our members are emerging or aspiring professional speakers. When we present a speech at this club, we want to learn from our fellow members what we need to do better so we can improve our speaking skills and take our speaking career to the next level.
The focus on constructive criticism can be hard to take if you don’t maintain a teachable attitude. However, if you are willing to learn, then the feedback you receive from your fellow club members in the Go Pro Speakers club can be invaluable.
For example, I have done a self-directed leadership workshop at my Go Pro Speakers club, and I received group feedback from my fellow club members. Most of it was focused on what I needed to do to improve, and less on what I did well. I took copious notes and came away with lots of information on what I need to differently to be more effective as a professional speaker. This has helped me to improve my presentation and to make it more effective.
It is valuable to get feedback from your mentors. They can see things about you that you don’t see in yourself. It is especially valuable to learn what you don’t do well so you can work to improve. This is why it is important to be open to other people’s ideas and feedback.
Conclusion
Being an effective mentee means you take an active role in your mentoring relationship. This means being prepared for your mentoring session and asking lots of questions. It means taking detailed notes so you don’t lose the nuggets of wisdom you gain from your mentor. It also means acting on your notes and being open to the ideas and feedback from your mentors.
Don’t be a passive participant in your mentoring relationship. Take an active role in learning from your mentor. You will have a much better relationship with your mentor and your mentor will enjoy seeing you learn and grow with the advice that he shares with you.