How important is showing respect to other people? I think it is a key thing you should strive to do. I also think that respect is a two-way street. If you want people to respect you, you should respect them first.

Respecting people is on of my core values. I always strive to show people respect whenever I interact with them. This includes respecting their beliefs and their values. It also means respecting their ideas.

Respect is not just my value. It is also one of the four core values of Toastmasters International. Respect is also one of the four values that the Project Management Institute outlines in its code of ethics and professional conduct. If respect is a core value for both of these international organizations, then showing respect for other people must be very important.

If you believe in showing respect to other people, are you always consistent? Do you show respect to other people, even after having a bad experience?

Negative experiences in our lives test our character. They are situations in which we are challenged to uphold our values. One challenge we face is to continue to show respect to other people, even when we are angry or frustrated.

A Visit to a Hotel in Grande Prairie

I remember one time when I had a negative experience. This experience tested me, and I came close to not showing respect to other people because I was angry and frustrated.

This was a time a few years ago when I travelled to Grande Prairie Alberta to run a Toastmasters training event. It was a four-hour drive from my home in Spruce Grove Alberta, so I chose to stay overnight in a hotel. I wanted to be well rested when running the training event the following morning.

I got to the hotel pretty late and the parking was not that great. I had to drive around the building until I found a spot to park along the side of the hotel.

After checking in, I noticed that the carpets were a little worn and the paint on the walls was a little faded. At least my room seemed clean and presentable.

Then the problems started happening. It turns out my room was on the ground floor of the hotel, right across from a bar. I tried to sleep, but people yelling and loud music from the bar kept me awake all night. Even worse, a train went by at one point, blaring its horn not once, but three times. The tracks were right beside the hotel and the engineer driving the train did not consider the hotel guests while passing the hotel.

I was angry and frustrated. I couldn’t sleep. I was ready to give the hotel a scathing review and to give the hotel staff a piece of my mind.

Fortunately, I finally fell asleep. In the morning I had a fresh perspective. I decided that it was not the hotel’s fault that I had a bad experience. When I approached the desk to check out in the morning I did not yell at the hotel staff and I did not complain. Instead, I said that unfortunately I got a room across from the bar and that a train went by late at night.

I did not blame the hotel staff and I simply related my experience. The hotel staff were sympathetic to my plight and they shared some stories with me about other guests who had similar experiences. It was a positive interaction with the hotel staff and I showed respect to the staff by not blaming them for my experience.

I will never stay at that hotel again, but I didn’t let a negative experience cause me to treat other people negatively. Instead, I treated them with respect, which is what a true leader always does, regardless of the circumstances.

Lost Baggage

Has an airline ever lost your baggage? This can be a frustrating event.

I remember observing an irate man yelling at an airline employee at the check in counter at the airport. He was extremely angry and was blaming the person behind the desk for losing his luggage. I even heard him yell: “You lost my luggage!”

What I saw in this situation was that this man was not treating the airline employee with respect. He was blaming the person behind the desk for losing his luggage, but this employee’s job was not baggage handling. This employee was in charge of checking in passengers for their flights.

What should this angry man have done? I suggest he should have remained calm and shown respect to the airline employee. Instead of blaming the employee for the lost luggage, he should have simply explained that his luggage had been lost and then asked what the airline could do to help him get it back. This would have elicited a better response from the airline employee, who would be more likely to provide assistance when not being blamed for the lost luggage.

Furthermore, yelling at the airline employee was not appropriate. This was harassment. The check in clerk did not personally lose the main’s luggage. Yes, a mistake happened, and the airline was at fault, but this is not an excuse to harass another person.

It is ok to be angry, but it is better to remain calm and not to direct that anger at another person. Treat the other person with respect and you will get more positive results from your interaction with that person.

Respect Other People’s Ideas

I remember a story about Steve Jobs that I read in his biography. Steve was visiting an employee at his cubicle and the employee shared an idea. Steve dismissed the employee’s idea, saying it was a stupid idea.

The next day Steve was speaking to the employee and said he had a great idea. It turned out to be the employee’s idea that he had heard the day before.

This is not showing someone respect. Steve jobs dismissed the employee’s idea and later claimed it as his own idea.

When you interact with other people, it is important to respect their ideas. Don’t tell them that their ideas are stupid. Be willing to listen to their ideas. Hear them out and let them explain their idea to you. This is showing them respect.

You don’t have to agree with their ideas. But you should show them respect and listen to what they have to say.

If you later change your mind and think it was a great idea, remember to give people the credit for the ideas they come up with.

Conclusion

Respect is a two-way street. If you treat other people with respect, even when you have negative experiences, you will find that other people tend to show you respect as well.

Respect is a value that I uphold in my own life. Respect is also a core value for the Toastmasters International organization and for the Project Management Institute. Both of these international organizations see respect as a core value. I challenge you to do the same.

Be the leader in your life. Always treat other people with respect, even when you are having a bad day.